You are struggling these days. OK, this is a wild guess, but the chances are big that I am right, because most people are struggling. At least if I can believe the news and some people in my surrounding. If you are like like the rest of us you are looking for signs of hope.
Here and there I found some.
I remember that when I was a teenager I didn’t listen to adults when they wanted to give me advise on every single thing in life. My mantra was, just as the mantra of every teenager through the ages of mankind: ‘I want to make my own experiences, so leave me alone with your advise’. Nowadays this sentence is often shortened to its core: ‘Fuck off!’
None of us wanted to hear the wise words of the grown ups who thought they were smarter just because they were older. Sound familiar, he? I know. You know what? Sometimes I’m still that guy. I don’t take something for granted just because the person telling it is older than me.
Last week I made an exception because hope was involved and hope is something I need more than ever lately. I was talking with the father of my girlfriend about the crisis of credit. I asked him if he wasn’t at least concerned about it. He replied that he had seen a crisis often through the years and every time it turned out well. Everything will be OK in the end. He told about his education and not finding a job when he was young and all of this stuff. Today he has a big, beautiful house in a nice neighborhood where he and his wife live luckily.
He went 72 last last month, so I know he has been there and isn’t just saying that. He vibrated a sort of calm. Exactly what I needed at that moment. He thought about possibilities instead of limitations. How to solve a certain problem instead of making it worse by doing nothing.
There are some moments where we don’t know how to go further with our lives. We lose track and do not know which step is the next and if we know the step we are afraid to take it because we don’t know the outcome.
Everybody has a struggle sometimes and don’t know how to solve a certain problem or situation. Worse, sometimes we don’t have the slightest idea how to come out of a bad situation. I’m not an exception here.
The first advice I give myself when I don’t know how to solve a problem no matter how long I think about a solution is this: stop thinking about it.
You guess it right, I don’t always take my own advice. The problem here is the following: if you don’t think about it you got the feeling that you are becoming ignorant and that you betraying yourself. You know exactly that you are focusing on the wrong thing instead of focusing on a solution. However, not thinking about the problem seems impossible. You lay awake at night, starring at the ceiling in the dark.
The problem of the problem, if you want to put it this way, is that you can’t deny certain circumstances. Ignoring theme will make everything worse. Knowing this let you focus more on the problem and it works like a spiral.
At some point you tend to just give up. I just thought about giving up, just to come to the conclusion that this is very hard to do. I thought about doing nothing and letting everything go. Though letting go is a good thing to do, as I said often in earlier articles, there will always be a day after.
What happens when we give up? Will the world stop turning? Will the time stop? Will we suddenly fall asleep and never wake up? I know that the last one is a wish many people have sometimes. I hope you don’t have this kind of thoughts.
After giving up there will always be a next day, a next step. A new beginning. When I was sitting in Simone’s backyard today I was thinking about this next day.
I imagined what would be if I had given up already and lost everything I own. The only thing I own would be the clothes I wear. What would be the next step? I thought about people who are sitting on the street with a piece of cardboard that says: I’m hungry, thank you for your support or something like that.
Of course I just can make a guess because I am luckily not in this situation, but I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t do that. I think I would rather ask people if I could do something of value for them in exchange for food or a little money. Things like washing there windows or cars. You never know who you will meet and what situation you create with something like this. One thing is for sure, you would’ve made a first step in a new direction even. You would even recognize that you not entirely gave up. You just started again.
Giving up seems to be harder than it sounds because there is always that next day.
So if you in a situation where you tend to give up and you brainstorm something like the above, why not just make use of the next day already tomorrow and make the new start before you are forced to do so?
I’m very curious about your thoughts on this, so let me know. Otherwise I maybe tend to give up.