Tomorrow I have the privilege to be invited to the birthday party of my girlfriends father. As they have a big family there will be many people to talk with. It’s always fun when it comes to talking to people, but sometimes there is one simple questions that can make one pretty uncomfortable:
How are you doing?
I know that some of you won’t understand what the problem is, but I know there are some of you who understand exactly what I’m talking about. At this moment I have to say that I don’t have problems with this question at all, but I had back when I was in a deep depression. This question sometimes made me feel more terrible then before.
If I wanted to talk to anybody at all, I surely didn’t wanted to talk about myself. I know that there are a lot of people who just don’t like to talk about themselves, whether they are depressed or not. They just don’t feel comfortable by talking to much about themselves. Period.
On the other hand there is one simple fact that applies to the majority of all people. Everybody wants to be important in one way or the other. I’m not an exception at this point.
Knowing this, there is an immediate solution for the problem of not wanted to be asked How are you doing? It’s really simple: Make others feel important. Of course you have to remember to be genuine in this. Don’t fake interest, be interested or keep the conversation to a minimum. Most people are sensitive enough to feel it if you are not really interested.
Just treat others as if they had a sign hanging around their neck that says: Make me feel important. Do it. I know you feel it coming, so before they have a chance to ask you, you simply ask them:
How are you doing?
If they are faster than you, there is still a chance to turn it around by acknowledging their interest with a smile and answering: Thank you! How are you doing?
So tomorrow I’m on this party and I’m sure I will have a lot inspiring conversations.
See you soon!