An interesting reaction on my post Always Positive came from my reader Ulrich: It’s also about being authentic. The post was about if all the self-help guru’s don’t ever struggle and have negative thoughts themselves. Of course they do, but as they use their own techniques, they come over it faster.
Ulrich stated that it’s important, how strange it may sound, to be negative sometimes if you want tell somebody else how to become positive. There is a truth in this and it isn’t strange at all. How could you tell somebody how to fix his car when you never have fixed one on your own. OK, you could have read many books about car repair and then instruct them how to do this. I did so once, when it came to the securing lock wire on some bolts of the brake caliper on my old car. This was just a hint. Of course I knew that the mechanic had much more experience with it than I had. But because he told me that he never had heard about a securing bolt lock wire, I thought that it couldn’t harm anyone to mention it.
However, be warned, there is a certain danger in this. When it comes to complications all your good advice turns against you because your book probably didn’t tell you what to do when unexpected things happen. It’s like the MCSE’s I met during my IT career. They all learned everything Microsoft had written down in their manuals, but the manuals usually just told how it works if everything is OK and well. When something wasn’t proper installed, someone had to call one of the old guys who was able to think around the corner and tweak a little bit here and there until it finally worked.
This is the difference between getting advice from one who has been there and a wanna-be. This is what separates the man from the boy, if you want to put it like this. At the same time I’m drifting of from my topic. This could be an item for another post and it will be.
Nonetheless the described above is also about being authentic.
What means being authentic to you?
In my opinion it’s being you if you put it simple. Not more and surely not less than this. It’s an important feeling that you vibrate. All people are very sensitive, whether they know about it or not. Everyone knows the feeling of liking someone or not even if they meet for the first time. Often even before the first words are spoken. This is because the person vibrates something. Be it negative or positive.
People who have this positive vibe that makes you feel comfortable when they are around are authentic in my opinion. They are not always aware of it, what I pity sometimes. They then don’t see the real value they add to others. Rest assured that every time you gave somebody a good feeling, be it just with your presence, be it with some kind words, you added a big value to this person life. Even though it’s just for a moment or a day. It counts.
This my friends is what I think about being authentic.
Some people are authentic right from the start. Most of the others, like me, were struggling right from the begining. This struggle finds place especially in the youth when they try to find out who they are, what’s their purpose in life and all this kind of thoughts and emotions. In this early state of life (yes it was early, even though we thought that we were grownups), self images are formed. Some of them are exaggerated, some of them are destructive, some of them are a constant struggle and some end up with a amazing acceptance of oneself. The latter are the lucky ones with a positive self image. This are the persons you feel good with when they are around.
One of the greates misunderstandings, again in my opinion, is a study (sorry that I have no source) someone confronted me with when I was applying for a job once. He said that it was nearly impossible for me to change as a person because I was already 26 and his study said that you can form people like you want to have them until the age of 24.
You can imagine that I told him to fuck off and put his job on a place where the sun never shines. Why should I change my personality for a job? If he doesn’t wanted the person who sat before him, why not asking someone else, who already was the kind of person he was looking for right away? This was the moment where he stated that the study was right, because he couldn’t make me get rid of this attitude.
I hope this poor guy didn’t commit suicide in the meantime with this study beside him.
Life is all about growing. Everything that doesn’t grows, physically or mental (call it spiritual if you feel more comfortable with this), is dead.
You see, I’m still alive and I don’t tend to tell people to fuck off too fast , if at all. When it comes to me this study was wrong. I’m sure about that.
What does being authentic mean in your opinion? Let us know!
Further articles to read:
What’s right with you?
Recognition: Make others happy!
See you next time,